General

A few questions:

-What is your goal weight?

-What are you doing to mitigate health risks?

-What is the plan once you reach the goal weight? Will you lose enough to be healthier but still fat/chubby? Will you get to a normal BMI?

-How much have the two of you talked about this?

Once people gain weight, it is almost impossible to lose it long term. I have known others who have tried to stop gaining weight, and their weight has kept climbing. One person from another site who was normal size planned to gain 50 pounds and stop. She is over 600 now.

Also, constantly changing weight up and down appears to be worse healthwise than just staying a steady high weight.

If gaining weight is important to you, you may need to find someone who can accept it.

So relatable!! My partner feels the same way!! She wants me to live a long and "happily" life!! And I get that!! I lost 27 kilos (after gaining 60 kg), and she's happier with my body and "health." I'm unhappy in my body and miss my fat! I'm... gaining weight again.

Id double check this, because I remember reading about a study years ago, before I was on this site but interested in fat. They study showed there were health benefits to attempting to lose weight, even if the weight came back later, and the study group that exercised and yoyo'd their weight had better health outcomes than the group that didn't try at all. Exercise is good for our bodies. I think anytime we take care of ourselves, there will be benefits.

I think some common sense applies, because if the weight comes back later because you're eating 5 big macs and a milkshake every single day, that cannot possibly be sustainable due to artery clogging fats. Overall, those really gluttonous meals should be reserved for those special times, if longevity is the goal.

But, I'm not a nutritionist, just a feedee who likes to read!

I wanted to amend my previous comment about weight cycling. I just came across this article from Huff Post that states weight cycling CAN be worse over time, because the changes in your bodies blood pressure changes so much, among other issues.
[www-huffpost-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/weight-health-factors_l_68b83ed2e4b042094acfbdbc/amp Post]

But seems like a reasonable representation!

A big takeaway I have is that I can improve my health quite a bit by exercising and maintaining muscle mass, while still keeping my fatt curves.