General

Hello friends, first post on here.
I have been dating my partner for a year and a half. They have been supportive despite this not being their kink/interest.

They finally told me that what I'm doing makes them nervous and that they worry about my health, which is a very valid concern. I have put on 60 pounds since we have been dating for reference.

The main sticking point is they said that it would be ok if I get to my goal weight but they wouldn't want me to stay there long term.

Not sure what to think of this and this is such a niche topic I'm not sure where else to bring it.
I guess I kinda wish she was into it and not just being ok with it. As we know there's no guarantee I stop at my goal weight as it's really fun to gain.
Anyway would love to hear the community's thoughts

A few questions:

-What is your goal weight?

-What are you doing to mitigate health risks?

-What is the plan once you reach the goal weight? Will you lose enough to be healthier but still fat/chubby? Will you get to a normal BMI?

-How much have the two of you talked about this?

Once people gain weight, it is almost impossible to lose it long term. I have known others who have tried to stop gaining weight, and their weight has kept climbing. One person from another site who was normal size planned to gain 50 pounds and stop. She is over 600 now.

Also, constantly changing weight up and down appears to be worse healthwise than just staying a steady high weight.

If gaining weight is important to you, you may need to find someone who can accept it.

So relatable!! My partner feels the same way!! She wants me to live a long and "happily" life!! And I get that!! I lost 27 kilos (after gaining 60 kg), and she's happier with my body and "health." I'm unhappy in my body and miss my fat! I'm... gaining weight again.

Id double check this, because I remember reading about a study years ago, before I was on this site but interested in fat. They study showed there were health benefits to attempting to lose weight, even if the weight came back later, and the study group that exercised and yoyo'd their weight had better health outcomes than the group that didn't try at all. Exercise is good for our bodies. I think anytime we take care of ourselves, there will be benefits.

I think some common sense applies, because if the weight comes back later because you're eating 5 big macs and a milkshake every single day, that cannot possibly be sustainable due to artery clogging fats. Overall, those really gluttonous meals should be reserved for those special times, if longevity is the goal.

But, I'm not a nutritionist, just a feedee who likes to read!